Everything changed, nothing changed
5 months later, everything has changed and at the same time, nothing has moved. The last time I put words on this blog, we were coming out of a 3 months confinement, dizzy from this coronavirus pandemic and eager to find our loved ones back and finally feel the sun on our face.
5 months later, the pandemic is still there, the countries are reconfining little by little, and it’s as if nothing had changed since May.
And yet, EVERYTHING has changed. For me at least, these last few months have been a real whirlwind of adventures and emotions, something that I could not have imagined when I came out of confinement.
Just a few days after leaving my little cocoon to shyly go out in the streets of Barcelona, my darling (who supported me during these 3 months locked up!) proposed to me in a totally unexpected way on the evening of June 3rd.
It was raining, it was dark, my mouth and fingers were full of chocolate, a waffle in my hand, and his question combined with a small shiny ring out of his pocket gave me the impression that the ground was slipping away under my feet. I had gotten used to the idea that my boyfriend might not want to get married, and that what mattered was that we be happy together… I was taken by surprise, fear, and happiness. I said “Yes” (he asked me in English) a few seconds after I came to my senses, and it was off to a new page in my life.
Barely two days later, I flew to Lille to see my grandmother who was very sick and to assist her with my mother, surrounded by the rest of my family.
Change of atmosphere, my very loving heart was tightening this time to see my beloved grandmother slowly leaving. Life is a cycle where when we’re little, adults take care of us, and when we grow up, we take care of our grandparents. For 10 days, I pampered my grandmother, I helped her to eat, to lie down, to get dressed, loving her with all my strength. The desire to be there more than anything, and to help her no matter what, even if it hurt to see her like that, helped me to stay strong. I didn’t know it was the last time I would see her.
July. We go on vacation to the south of France with my fiancé, my mother and her companion. We enjoy a sunny break between the beaches of Fréjus, Nice, Saint-Tropez, and Marseille. After a very intense work during lockdown, and many emotional elevators, this break was more than welcome.
August 3, return from vacation. On the road, I learn that my grandmother fell down. She is in a coma. A race against the clock is organized. We spend a quick night in Barcelona before going back to Lille, holding her hand one last time. The evening of our arrival, after all those who had surrounded her with love, caresses, sweet words in the afternoon had left, she left discreetly. She flew away to a world without suffering.
August 12th. After difficult days in Lille saying goodbye to my grandmother and supporting my grandfather, we flew away to other horizons.
It was time to get on with our lives, and to catch up with those projects that had fallen through with the pandemic.
11 hours of flight later, we landed in Reunion Island, for 2 months of digital nomadism, working while touring the island. There, we finally realized our dream of being free to work wherever we want, from volcanic black sand beaches to villages nestled in the hollow of green mountains. I’ve already told you all about it in my podcast Tout Plaquer pour Voyager (FR), but if you wish, I’ll tell you all about the activities and accommodations we booked in a special article.
October 10th. While the measures are getting harder in Europe, we come back from our road-trip and decide to extend our stay abroad by staying 15 days in Paris. We live there the curfew, but also emotional meetings with family and friends we had lastly seen a long time ago.
It is also the occasion to start preparing the civil wedding, even if nothing is certain about the celebration of the event with the current situation.
Remaining optimistic, giving yourself projects, holding on to your dreams: in these times of pandemic, you must continue to live positively not to stop living. Whether we can get married in February 2021 or not, I have to organize this event little by little to stay the course and not be too afraid of the return of the pandemic.
October 25, we are finally coming home. In extremis before the confinement of France which will take place a week later, just in time to live the Spanish curfew and the weekend lockdown in Catalonia.
Everything has changed, and nothing has changed at the same time. Back home, back to that new cautious life, back to the hugs from afar and to smiles with the eyes.
Nothing is certain for the coming months, but one thing is certain: as long as we have hope, as long as we adapt and are resilient, love will win.
Hey, I am Estelle, 29 years old, frenchie in Barcelona, half spanish et 100% international. Welcome to my blog, where I share with you my fashion tips, travels, and more!
